Every Woman is a Goddess

An open letter to Ellen DeGeneres about glitter.

2008-01-12T08:56:00.001-08:00

Dear Ellen:

I love you. I've always loved you. So much that I've always had your back through goods times and bad. I love you because you preach love, kindness and equality for all people and things!

Which is why this recent segment broke my heart!

Please don't try to get glitter banned! I happen to be a fan of glitter because I feel it shines light both literally and metaphorically. Light is good because it gives people a sense of wonder and hope that they might need at that very moment.

OK, I can totally understand your points - BUT you are talking about "loose" glitter. Please understand that is just one (the most well known) kind of glitter. Not all glitters are the same.

Please don't pass judgement on all glitters based on this one type.

Yes, loose glitter can be a headache to deal with. It has no shame, it sticks from person to person, thing to thing, with no remorse. And um, yes, I use it faithfully. And secretly, I kinda like it when one of my flecks spreads to someone else!

HOWEVER - I'm a preacher of "safe sparkle". I teach many workshops and have met many people who don't like loose glitter either, so I educate them on loose glitter alternatives. And I think if you knew about these, you might find it in your heart to come to love glitter.

I know you will probably never see this, but I want to help you find the right glitter for your personality!! And then you can share it on your show next holiday season so when people send you cards they will know what kind of glitter to use that will be still be sparkly, without the trouble.

Water-based brush on glitter: This comes in a bottle, in liquid form and you simply brush it on over any surface. It dries, and the glitter stays in place, no stray flecks anyway! May-jah sparkle!

Squeeze on glitter: This is concentrated glitter that comes also in a thick creamy gel in all different colors. You squeeze it on and when it dries, it looks like it is loose glitter, but doesn't shed.

Spray-on glitter: This comes in a bottle or can and you spray where you want it. And it sticks! No muss, no fuss!

Glitter paint: This is paint that has glitter in it, again, it dries, looks brilliant and you don't have to get it on your fingers!

Glitter fabric: My favorite is red glittered vinyl. Like the kind used on retro barstools. You just cut and sew and go!

There are gobs more, but these are just a start. I think if more anti-glitter people were educated on this topic and all it's varieites, the world would be a happier place!Let's all practice safe sparkle, let's stop the hate, the misunderstandings, and come to love all things that sparkle and shine.

Life is too short not to!

I think even the next President would agree with that.

Peace, love, and glitter,
Kathy Cano-Murillo
The Crafty Chica

Holiday Musings from Sarah Elise

2007-12-19T09:20:00.001-08:00

JOY is alive and well in the here and now. The above shot is moi and my husband the delicious human being that he is.

First picture is of me with my youngest son. The second is of me with my first born son, who opened me up in so many ways. Fritz pictured above. My horse. I am unaware of how he is doing these days as I do not speak to the incest family. In the here and now, joy is doing a dance.

Oh boy, here come the holidays...In years past the PTSD would be stirred up like a sandstorm. It gets easier as the years go by, thankfully mainly due to the healing effect of my family, my kids and husband. We have a clean slate with which to begin our nouveau familial style. I love my boys and husband so much. I feel that they inspire me and bless me...not just in the usual ways, but when I feel lost in the past, they bring me to center and keep me going just by being themselves. This is one of the ways motherhood and partnership heals me.
When one of them has a need, or a want, as they do a zillion times a day, I am snapped back into here and now. The here and now, this has been my focus. I tend to criticize myself and tend toward perfectionism in myself that I would never expect of anyone else. Perfectionism is a synonym for masochism, and self sadism. I feel so grateful for my family, and for surviving the trauma of my mother abandoning me, and my father raping me all those years, not just sexually but emotionally and spiritually. When I met my husband, I was in an unhealthy place, still tied to the blood family on my father's side. I was self destructive. The sight of him was like a reflection, and the image was of safety, goodness, love, and family. As the horses once did, Troy reflected my innate goodness back to me and I him. Wow. What a gift.
It was a momentous milestone for me to break away, ignoring the drone of bad advice and misguided emotional "support", telling me to come home and live there and be close. Be close. The incest web. I said no thanks to that and stayed with the man I would marry and become a mother with. It was very hard as the family, as most dysfunctional families do, knew how to manipulate me. I really left home in 99, I just kept going forward, years passing, rising like a phoenix. Very daring for me. The one thing they really had to wield were the horses. I began riding when I was 3. My horses gave me a sanctuary, they loved me unconditionally. They were magical. As I grew my grandmother, my father's mother, was "grooming" (interesting choice of words, huh?)me as she put it, to take over the family business. I elected a very different path and the shit hit the fan. Both my grandmother and grandfather tried making me feel so guilty if I ever desired anything outside of the horses. This was sacrelige! Of course I did desire other things, especially my own interests as most teenagers do, but their guilt worked.
I miss those horses. In 2004 I had to walk away from them, and one special one in particular. I chose my baby, my husband, their lives and mine over the horses. Over the family, over the pull of the incest web. In 2004 I even cut ties with my grandparents for good, filed a rape report against my father, received flowers from Eve Ensler, and began examining my relationship with my mother. The year of emancipation. My breaking away from them and thus the genesis of my breaking the cycles really began years earlier, in my mind. I was digging out of prison, misguided at first, in that I tried escaping through drugs and unhealthy relationships. I guided myself into the realm of true escape after I grew tired of hurting myself for things someone else did to me. I put myself first. My own mother never put me first, she left me with my father. My heart felt like it was being mutilated when I thought of my child ever feeling that. Over the years I have stayed in touch with that pain, and the pain of my father's abuse. It has kept me more empathic. Somehow she, my mother, lacked that fierce maternal bond. I was attached to both of my parents deeply, as children are. I am also incredibly bonded to my kids. My husband thinks I am more bonded to them and in touch intuitively with them than anyone else on earth. I love that he thinks that and am proud that I am!! Not apologizing for my goodness folks. Not gonna play it down either, I am a pretty great mama!
I give them what I never had. I feel the enormous ache and grief over my own losses as a child, I vow every second of every day that not only will I NOT repeat things, I think of what I WILL do. What can I add? Asset based thinking here, what can I give, not just what can I avoid doing. I can make a conscious effort to show my love and manage my anger and model healthy things for them. I add cafe dates, volunteering at my son's school, I teach them to be aware of mother earth and all her creatures, I honor their innocence and vow to protect it no matter what, I watch them grow and learn and try to appreciate the challenges they present me, like being more patient. Watching them safely develop and explore their bodies and express their emotions so freely is amazing and challenging. I was never allowed to feel my anger or even my joy fully. Especially not anger. Oh hell no, no anger for Sarah. And joy stifled by the always present threat of things falling apart as they so often did with my dad. He could never deliver a promise, hold down a job, keep a stable home for me. I remember when toys had to be brought back because he could not afford them. I still struggle with letting my hubs go out and shop for me at the holidays. I freeze up and feel like I am 7 again, walking through K&B, trailing my dad as he walked up to return gifts. John Lennon played in the background, singing about so this is Christmas, and what have you done? He promised a house and a dog, a job that he would keep, a mom for me, he promised to not touch me there anymore. All broken, all broken. I chose my husband because I knew that he would never do such things, although the sick little girl inside of me wanted a jerk to replay trauma with. As for the past, the holidays I think of them. All of them, horses, people, red velvets ribbons. Are they ghosts? I don't know. William Faulkner said "The past is not dead. In fact, it's not even past. " Interpret as you will, but it's all about tending the wounds and simultaneously living in the here and now. We used to decorate their stalls with stockings and wreaths and we had parties for all the clients. People came and brought gifts and food, we even had a costume contest for the HORSES!! I miss so much their soft faces, their whinnies, their cantering up to me, the smell of the barn, like cedar and shavings... and I miss being so good at something. (I won all kinds of awards all of my life, equestrian success was a huge part of my having any self worth.) I love Angela's metaphor, though it is more literal than metaphorical for those of us who have experinced abuse, of the sword of trauma piercing us. I remember thinking to myself about five years ago, this is like an iron maiden. I feel like I am in one of those iron maidens, knives coming from every direction. Horrifyingly accurate. It is like a sword, all of it, not just being raped. Not being protected, no armor. The armor should have been my mother, my grandparents. My uncle and aunt who chose denial. The sword is out and now we tend the wound. I am tending the wound. Part of tending the wound so it does not get infected is acceptance of what was and cultivation of hope for what NOW can be. NOW, the reality is that as a parent I must accept that I AM good. I must accept that goodness. It is so hard to accept our own goodness at times. I can not explain why my mother and father, grandparents and uncle did not see my goodness and honor it as I do my children. Blinded by their own unhealed wounds, enormous gaping wounds infected with drug addiction, emotional numbness, denial, inability to protect the vulnerable ones, and fear. Infected and blinded.
It was what it was. I am who I am today and though a part of me still needs to cry, rage, and ask questions, thats part of what helps me walk solidly on my healing path.
In the meantime, in the now, I am creating, with my husband and family, joyous, grateful, creative and impassioned energy for our new family tree. I know the reverberations will be felt into the next generations, and the little girl I was will feel the ripples too. I invite her to be here now, now and always.
Let's all invite our parts, our little ones inside, to come and be here with us now. They are waiting for our love and safety so they can leave the dark rooms, where they have been alone and crying, and come into the light where they belong. We can parent them now. If you are not a parent, you actually are a parent, because we all have inner children who need love, they are all the children we once were at certain times. The traumatized ones need us. And we will rise up like the phoenixes, and be here for them now. Namaste and Love to All~S

Finding Angela Shelton Challenge

2007-12-17T15:09:00.001-08:00

Finding Angela Shelton

We are all Angela Shelton, or know someone who is.

Angela approached me with the job of spreading the word and the healing, and I have been working hard at it and have no plans to stop.

(2 big mouthed women we are)

We are team members of Angela Shelton. I am heading up the state of NC. We are teachers, students, parents, nurses, parents, sons, daughters, therapists, activists, advocates, non-profits organizations, lawyers, professionals, healers, and fans of Angela Shelton. We have seen how Angela's powerful documentary, Searching for Angela Shelton has changed many lives and we want everyone to read her book!

We believe that healing yourself heals the world. Angela Shelton inspires and empowers people and we want you to Find Angela Shelton! (We are pretty much finding ourselves when we do this, and each other!)

For those who have ordered a copy, you can read the private Finding Angela Shelton Blog for readers only!
Just email your proof of purchase or pre-order to comments@angelashelton.com and you will be added as a reader. Angela just posted a letter that came from the social worker she had when she was eight!

WHY TAKE THE CHALLENGE?

*Angela Sheltons' message has helped save thousands of lives - including her own!

*You can change the lives of others simply by starting a conversation.

*1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are abused in their lifetime.
*There are an estimated 39 million survivors of child sexual abuse in America today - let's get the book into their hands!!

*Abuse effects everyone in a community emotionally, financially, and spiritually. This is not a women's issue - this involves all of us.

*Angela Sheltons' message has moved forward through dedicated people who have healed, who care about their communities, and who have loved ones who have been victims.

*One person and one voice makes a difference - put them together and your team could save thousands of lives!

Email comments@angelashelton.com and request to be a Team Leader or Volunteer in the subject.

The book is a Call to Action for all survivors to end self-abuse that is caused by trauma. The more people Find Angela Shelton, the more people heal.
The more people heal - the more we heal the whole world and make life better for all of us.

DOWNLOAD A PORTION OF THE BOOK and begin a conversation.
Team up in high school, college, university, faith center, women's center, or support group and take the challenge.
Reach as many people as possible and get them to order the book.
Finding Angela Shelton is an escape route out of pain and into joy.

HOW DO YOU SPREAD THE WORD?

SPEAK OUT ABOUT ABUSE. Educate yourself, ignorance is only bliss for abusers!
If people act weird or uncomfortable, they definitely need to hear more!!
START CONVERSATIONS - Talk talk talk - by staring conversations you are creating social change. Post on the blog on facebook and myspace about why you are changing your life and changing the world and how Searching for and Finding Angela Shelton affected you. Share why this book is so important to you. Share your own story and listen to the stories of others. Be an example - breathe! You will be helping a lot of people out of suffering.
CALL PEOPLE - call five friends and tell them about the book and about Angela Shelton. Share a secret. You are not alone.
TAKE ACTION! Begin to write your own story. Start a blog. Write a song and sing it! This is about you changing your own patterns and living life joyfully. The more you do that - the more of an example you are.
ENLIST PEOPLE Tell 10 people to order the book and have them enlist 10 people and so on. By spreading the word about this book - we are creating a dramatic global shift and inspiring recovery and healing.
BRAINSTORM! People come up with new genius ideas everyday! Compile a list of all the ways to reach your state. Schools, orgs, crisis centers, clubs, groups, socialites, big mouths, local radio spots - whatever spreads the word! Think big - anything is possible!
USE THE INTERNET - Email, chat, post on forums, make comments everywhere you can online, telling people to order the book. Blog about it!
USE FLIERS - Make fliers that you post at your school or in and around your community. Tell people at the bookstores.
ASK QUESTIONS - If the goal is to reach 39 million people, how do you go about that on a grassroots budget with no Television ad? Make it a class project.
WEAR GEAR - Wear Angela gear and start a conversation when people ask you who Angela Shelton is. You will find that you meet other survivors and loved ones of survivors. You will also find that people care about other people! http://www.cafepress.com/angelashelton
CONTACT BOOKSTORES - and let them know that you want to order Finding Angela Shelton. Tell them why. Sound scary? It's not, and not as scary as holding in the secrect, I'll tell you that. You would not believe how many times a month I hear the words, "Yeah, me too...." Stories everywhere, in the massage therapist office, at the grocery store, all over.

WHAT DO YOU GET?

SATISFACTION! By helping this grassroots movement, you are helping people to change their lives forever which in turn helps you because you are helping the whole world.
WORK WITH ANGELA! - For those of you in Los Angeles you can intern with Angela in person. Email comments@angelashelton.com and put "Volunteer" in the subject box.
YOUR SCHOOL NAME or YOUR TEAM on the new Finding Angela Shelton Website and will be mentioned in Angela's Blog and E-Newsletters. As TEAM LEADER, you will have access to the admin section of Myspace and Facebook. Angela will talk to team leaders and select teams for 30 min calls on the phone for free.
FREE ANGELA TIME and FREE MOVIES! If you classroom creates a class project with this challenge and becomes friends on myspace, facebook, and signs up for the newsletter - http://angelashelton.com/newsletter/ your class will receive a free DVD.
FREE GEAR!- For those who sell 10 DVDs or more while you're spreading the word - you get a T-shirt of your choice at the Angela Store! Have the customers put your name in the comments sections when they purchase the DVD at http://store.searchingforangelasheltonstore.com/

Letting Go of the Dream

2007-11-18T11:22:00.001-08:00

Letting Go of the Dream

Letting go. Sounds cliche. It's not. Well, if it is, only because it is true. That's the key sometimes, letting go of the dream that it will ever change, even NOW. Not just that a parent was there, but how they were with you, if at all, how you were met at birth and beyond. Create a new dream. Let the old wish of the child go, release it. Some bonds when broken can't be repaired, and it is not the child's fault. It is not your fault, or mine.
That primal love we want(ed) did not (does not) exist within that parent. That's not our problem now. Most times it never existed, it being that mother bear love, and we are left with the eternal wish of the little one inside. I don't think we are asking for perfect or asking too much when we want to be mothered, not abandoned. Love that does not take into account the child's needs an attached loving mother, the child's needs at all, is not really love at all. My therapist used to say that abandonment of a child is "total annihilation" of that child.
How powerful it can be.....
to place that wish in your palm and blow it back out to the universe.
In knowing what you wanted,
deep within that means you have the ability to give it to your children and to yourself.
With my own kids, my mantra for this is:
Be What You Wanted.
Be What You Deserved.
It works, it just takes time, practice and patience. Eventually the rage and grief of the child dissolves and gives way to an understanding that these parents could barely care for themselves(some still can not) let alone you, and most have immense amounts of unhealed, unaddressed pain that they are very unaware of in themselves. In other words, it is not your fault now, nor was it then. Just because your light and worth went unacknowledged and in some cases purposefully so, does not mean it was never there. Breathe in the light that you are, exhale that light and send it into the world. (Thank you Nancy for that.)
With Love, SES

New Blog posts

2007-11-09T08:45:00.001-08:00

http://satorizenmama.blogspot.com/

Comments welcome!
Sarah

GoodSearch.com

2007-11-09T08:42:00.000-08:00

Here's a new easy way to raise money for your favorite cause. Just start using GoodSearch.com as your search engine and online shopping mall. Every time you search the Internet or make an online purchase at one of their partner merchants, GoodSearch makes a donation to your favorite nonprofit or school and it's powered by Yahoo! so you get great search results!

Namaste, Sarah

Satori, my new project

2007-10-08T11:19:00.000-07:00

Please join me in this movement of healing through rediscovering our innate light. My SATORI, Sexual Abuse Thrivers Of Rape and Incest. My main message is that healing is possible, it is about conscious choice, being willing to have the courage to face what has happened to you, break ties if you need to, believing in your own light, ripping out that old family tree and planting your brand new one free of secrets and lies, learning how incest family dynamics work, and rediscovering how to love the child within. We are all born with what I call our little box of light, a gem that can NEVER be stolen or snuffed out. We are abused and tortured which shifts our perception of ourselves, we see ourselves distorted, energetically we absorb the projections of our abusers as the hurt us and we turn that against ourselves. We are porous, we absorb their shame, their dirtiness, their self hatred. We can give it back and rebirth our light. Our light is divine and unbreakable. We must return home to our own souls and find it, we have to fight for our light and teach and guide others to do the same.

With Love and Light, Sarah/Bohememama

Feminine guys better for long-term love: study

2007-08-08T11:25:00.000-07:00

Feminine guys better for long-term love: study

Question: So what is your take on this sort of thing my fellow Goddesses?

Just curious...

Blessings
Colette

How's it going?

2007-07-21T09:14:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to stop in a say Hello!

ode to spring

2007-03-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

i thought i felt you
early this morning
a whisper of a touch
still lingers
a quickened heart beat
still echoes
and a sheen of dew on my lips
still dampens
the taste of my day

love, was it you?

A little something to spice up the spring -- The Erotic Woman

Making Women's Rights a Top Priority

2007-02-05T22:09:00.000-08:00

I wanted to share this article with the iamgoddess community. As women, our rights seem to be continuously in danger and at risk, and it's so important for us all to be vigilant about making women's rights a top priority at all times. We have an opportunity to turn the tide on the sad state of women's affairs that have become the norm in our country and worldwide for too long. Let's work hard to put as many women in government (in all countries) as we possibly can, while continuing to build our communities with strong female-based networks such as this one. Our female ancestral leaders would be proud.

Goddess bless women everywhere and keep fighting the good fight!

Heidi Schnakenberg

on being a woman

2007-01-13T16:53:00.000-08:00

not long ago my son asked if i like being a woman or if i thought i would prefer to have been born a boy and become a man. his question surprised me because i suppose i thought it would be obvious that being a woman is the most beautiful way to live. i love being a woman. his question, though, started my pondering what it is that i like about being feminine and what it is that defines such a thing for me. what does being a woman mean to me and what makes me feel like a woman?

i contemplated many things, such as wearing silk stockings and soft cotton panties (which i adore), struggling with monthly cycles (which i've always accepted lovingly), laboring in childbirth (my greatest achievement), striving to find my authentic woman's voice in a patriarchal world (my hardest work), and many other things.

i considered my favorite memory of all i have experienced, and that of breastfeeding my babies. it seems to me breastfeeding offers two of life's richest gifts, those being to nourish another and to nurture another, for i feed my baby at the same time of holding and embracing her.

there is much i could say about the life of being a woman, about my connection with the world i live in and about relationship to all things. but in all my pondering i have come to this, that what most makes me feel like a woman is that of receiving and taking in. when i am with my beloved and i take him in, i receive the universe, and in receiving him, i and the earth become one.

i would love to know the many things that make you feel like a woman, what being a woman means to you. your answers help me deepen my own....

The Making of a Billboard Model

2006-11-17T11:31:00.001-08:00

back in the picture

2006-11-14T13:21:00.000-08:00

Emote
cry little girl cry
with your tears
paint the sky

wipe the slate clean
with your dream

cry little girl cry

I am slowly working my way back into EWAG while I struggle with some health issues. Good to see you all. Much love.

Every Woman is a Goddess: erotic potential

2006-11-12T11:54:00.000-08:00

Every Woman is a Goddess: erotic potential

Every Woman is a Goddess: goddess interview revisited

2006-11-12T08:38:00.000-08:00

Every Woman is a Goddess: goddess interview revisited

For the domestic goddess

2006-11-11T20:38:00.000-08:00

The Apron Book is a beautifully photographed historical documentary of the American apron.

This great American icon for mothering and pop-culture is back in contemporary fashion. Each page is lovingly put together with photographs from EllynAnne Geisel's vintage apron collection -- over 300 collected from around America -- as well as apron patterns. Apron lovers from the past and present share their stories and memories. I love this book. It fits in perfectly with my quirky little collection.

Take a peek inside the book or visit EllynAnne's site to learn more about her passion at apronmemories.com.

erotic potential

2006-11-11T09:57:00.000-08:00

I am Lilith, Dark Goddess of untamed erotic power. I am the Goddess of feminine wild instinctual knowing, free of restraints. I am the creative power of the Void.

In the past, Millennia ago, I was the Great Goddess of all the Semitic people. It was I who brought agriculture to them and protected midwives and children. This was before the dark times when the feminine was repressed. In Biblical tradition, I was cast as first woman, created simultaneously with Adam, but I fled paradise and my controlling mate.

Now I want to tell you what really happened.

In the beginning, Adam and I enjoyed our wild sexuality and lived as partners in the magical, sexual, pulsing dance of life. But something happened and he began to change. He acted as if he was the wiser one and could tell me what to do. And worse, he criticized my wildness (I was a woman who ran with the wolves to be sure).
And then the day came when he insisted that we make love with him on top, weighing me down and restricting my movement, making me passive. Although I was always one for variety, he persisted in this request; he refused to let me get on top as well. I knew he wanted to dominate me in a way that felt disrespectful, out of balance and denying my own eroticism. And so I refused.

He complained to Yahweh, who came against me and I shape shifted into a dark bird and flew away. Of course, they replaced me with a more compliant Eve who was supposed to be submissive, self-sacrificing and chaste. But even she got the blame for acting on her own and eating of the fruit of wisdom.

In Medieval times you will find references to my name as a fearsome demonness. I was supposed to be responsible for men’s wet dreams and I was accused of stealing babies. But it is all a pack of lies to keep women from trusting in their own instincts.

Now, I am returning to your consciousness and I am your free, untamed, and independent self.

Call on me to help you reclaim your erotic potential. Call on me to reclaim your creative power and your wildness. I am Lilith, the ancient one.

Check out the rest of Linda Savage's The Legacy of Lilith: Reclaiming Women’s Untamed Erotic Potential. A stirring read!

eye of the beholder

2006-06-11T08:15:00.000-07:00

an interesting article: The Beguiling Truth About Beauty by Carlin Flora

Last paragraph is beautiful: Most of us have had the mysterious experience of watching a loved one become increasingly beautiful with time, as the relationship grows deeper. Imagine that generous gaze is upon you all the time, and you'll soon see a better reflection in others' eyes. You may not be able to turn off your inner hot-or-not meter, but you can spend less time fretting in the mirror and more time engaging with the world.

make the connection: cervical cancer awareness

2006-05-20T16:42:00.000-07:00

I received an email pointing me to this website Make the Connection, which promotes cervical cancer awareness and prevention. Additionally, you can support the cause ...

By ordering a free Make the Connection bracelet kit, you will be helping to advance cervical cancer education and outreach. For every pair of bracelet kits ordered, Merck will donate one dollar to Cancer Research and Prevention Foundation, up to $100,000, for cervical cancer awareness and screening programs among medically underserved women.

Anything to help keep our goddesses happy, healthy and strong ...

article

2006-05-20T09:59:00.000-07:00

The new lies about women's health by Brian Alexander.

Honestly, I was dismayed after reading this. It seems ridiculous that women are fed bogus health information to support a moral agenda. The possibility of a woman being denied emergency contraception makes me ill.

Anyone have more info on this topic?

happy mother's day!

2006-05-14T09:59:00.000-07:00

to all moms...
(on the taming...)

happy mother's day 05142006
(on lyh0626)

happy mother's day to moms all over the world!

;-)

2006-05-13T09:16:00.000-07:00

Mommy Does It All...

2006-05-12T07:07:00.000-07:00

Mommy Does It All...

This is a seriously funny and fun and cool blog, check it out!

Contra-Contraception - New York Times

2006-05-11T08:56:00.000-07:00

Contra-Contraception - New York Times

Interesting reading in case you were wondering about the background/history into the debate over whether women are ENTITLED to reproductive rights....

learning to swim again.

2006-04-30T21:48:00.000-07:00

Today has been an odd day ...

There are so many things swimming around me regarding babies and the lack thereof.

One of the doctors who works at the same (small) hospital as hubby recently lost a baby. His wife was 20 weeks along. This afternoon, they had a memorial service at the church two doors down from my house. I met this doctor, his wife and their four kids last fall when I interviewed him for the local newspaper. Very nice people. He's 32 and she's 28.

It's funny, when I did the interview, he asked me if we had any kids. I said no, but I was actually 8-10 weeks pregnant at the time and wasn't telling anyone outside of family & good friends. And, now, here it is they lose their baby at 20 weeks, as did we just over five months ago. I have been thinking about them all day, remembering the surrealness of the grief. I'm trying to decide if I should bring them a plant or something, but I'm worried it would be awkward.

A co-worker of mine is due to have her baby any minute now. Well, more like any day. Her esitmated due date is May 7, I believe. I saw her yesterday, she's 3mm dilated ... only 7 more to go. So, she's getting closer to having her baby girl. I almost teared up speaking with her Saturday afternoon, as happy as I am for her having a little girl.

I've been working on the cutest little booties for her and finished them tonight. In the pattern picture, they're shown w/ a pair of little socks. And, I thought I'd do the same. So, I went to the basement and starting digging through our stash of baby stuff. And, it all hit me. Seeing the little onesies and tees and a pair of socks w/ little butterflies.

It all just hit me. Another baby lost. And another one the way. And us in our fourth month of trying to get pregnant again.

For the past three months, I have been focused on the science of getting pregnant. Timing, eggs meeting sperm, hormones, testing, the menstrual cycle, vitamins, no alcohol, folic acid, ovulation ... all the details and medical terminology involved in trying to conceive. It creates in me obsessive compulsive behavior in a personality that borders too closely on Type A-ism.

But, tonight, while I'm digging through boxes of stuff I haven't touched in 4 months, seeing the stash of tees & onesies ... I get a mental rush of pictures, of dressing my little baby in these tees & onesies. It suddenly became so personal, so real and so precious. So precious are those little feet and the gift of motherhood ...

It just hit me ... as it does, so often unexpectedly. Maybe it's compounded by not being pregnant again yet and coming up on 6 months at the end of May. Feeling the sadness of another pregnancy lost and soon the joy of a new life for my friend.

All this baby stuff ... just floating around me ... and the best I can do right now is tread water. I guess that's better than the alternative.

The Whole Self

2006-04-27T17:50:00.000-07:00

I found this blog and I really dig it, yes I do...

The Whole Self

2006-04-22T09:58:00.000-07:00

Vulnerability. I know what you are saying. I am vulnerable, and I am myself. To me, it's the same, you know? To be one's self is to be vulnerable. It is hard. I hate feeling judged. And you do get judged so much when you are authentic. Ouch.
But I am so with you!

vulnerability is not weakness

2006-04-16T16:42:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been interested in how people react to vulnerability and kindness. I've noticed that the two traits are usually characterized as weaknesses to which there are only two ways of reacting -- by offering protection or taking advantage of the person. This seems a rather counterproductive method if we ever want to empower each other.

I am a kind person who is not afraid to show vulnerability. This makes it difficult to find people who are willing to really be with me and I'd rather not waste my time posturing. Instead, I'd like to dive into acceptance and have it reciprocated.

Unfortunately, I find that most of the time my vulnerability is taken advantage of. The old adage "Give em an inch, they take a mile" is something that happens to me frequently. It's as though being vulnerable is mistaken for "Here take my crap, too. I don't want to be responsible for it." How does this make sense?

Well, I'd like to see that change for being vulnerable is also more importantly known as learning to be yourself.

Who's with me? :)

Finding that balance

2006-04-11T18:23:00.000-07:00

I realised I needed to post this here as well as on my onw personal blog...mainly because as we tell our 'stories' to each other here and share our lives - it helps us to better 'know' one another. To tighten the circle. To make us grow closer as humans, as women, as creators of life. This post was prompted by an article I read today about Yoga becoming 'big money'

The article is HERE.

Good article...good points.

As always, in everything I do I strive to maintain a semblance of balance in my days, in my work, in my personal life. Often it's a struggle because I am simply too busy. There is too much going on. I take on too much. Biting off more than we can chew. That's the danger I see with Yoga as well. While I desperately want to preserve my integrity as a teacher and promote the 'true' aspects of Yoga - I want to be successful, I want the program to grow and horror of horrors I want to make money being a Yoga teacher.

But last night, when the person who used the room before me, left behind dry erase markers and an eraser I decided to use it to actually 'teach' the class a 'lesson' not just movements but about the underlying principles that help govern Yogis/Yoginis: the Yamas and the Niyamas. As I was writing on the board, putting up the words and definitions, I noticed on the other board an 'erased' drawing of the human body complete with arrows pointing to the various parts and joints and then to the right of this 'ghostly' remainder of the body was an erased 'OM' symbol. I was suddenly overtaken by joy and I began to remember why I teach this practice to others. I re-traced the 'OM' symbol and went out to gather my class....

I think I am going to make it through everything that modern/materialistic society has to throw at me.

Women Birth So Many Different Things

2006-04-08T06:30:00.000-07:00

I posted this on my new blog, but realized it needs to go here too. A bit of a femininst rant perhaps. Or maybe, just the truth.

Women Birth So Many Different Things.
http://www.vday.org/main.html
Ideas, inspiration, babies, art, PEACE. Women are to be revered as peacemakers. Men can do this too, Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Buddha, my husband, Troy, pictured above with our son. It takes strength to make peace happen in our homes, in the world, on this amazing planet.
Eve Ensler is my spirit mentor. I have followed her for years and look up to her. She gives me HOPE, she impassions me, she challenges me. I get so angry at Women who don't fight the good fight. I need more compassion in this area. I know about denying one's feelings, psychic numbing as a means of survival, denying other's pain because it triggers our own. But I really feel that I have a responsibility to face my own pain, which is terrifying and immobilizing at times, so I can be an anathema to apathy and complacency. I will never be complacent about violence, whether it is against Women, which it is for the most part, and children, the most susceptible victims, and what men do to each other. Why do men commit the majority of violence? Is it God, as some say, free will? That's bullshit. Testosterone? More crap. Do I have the answers? No. Does that mean I will give up my innate ability to think for myself, get angry at the injustices, and use my PERSONAL PAIN TO DO WHAT I CAN TO FIX THIS WORLD? Fuck NO.
Yes, I feel angry at the Women who choose to look the other way when their husband is sexually molesting their daughter or son, when men make up ridiculous and arcane rules and torture Women and abuse children in the name of God or the government. When Women deny their power and go along. There is a balance, I know it. An equal respect between Men and Women. I have it in my marriage. No one should be subservient to anyone. Men can be and should be tender, able to embrace their emotions, to express freely, which is our birthright as humans. It's about sharing, embracing what is masculine and feminine in ourselves and not being threatened by that. For those who use Christianity to dominate others, or the planet and her resources, I ask you, is that what Jesus would do? It seems we ignore his basic teachings when we retaliate in war, like Iraq, Mr. Bush. What ever happened to turning the other cheek. Doing unto others.
I guess some feel they can just adjust the interpretations as they see fit.
No one should be a slave, whether to Uncle Joe who molests you every Sunday after church, or for an African Woman who has to have her clitoris severed to serve some insane man made rule. Do I accept any religion that serves to keep Women submissive and dormant, NO. Because it does not have to be about anyone ruling anyone else. Would it be easier for me to assimilate, just join a church, "give it all to God", to numb myself and let another think for me? It seems that way sometimes.
But then I enslave myself.
It is a courageous act to stand up and say, hey, wait a minute, I disagree. I am going to live in a different way, and I will deal with other people's opinions of me for that. Emancipate Yourself From Mental Slavery.
We should all be free to be ourselves, to live in harmony and respect, to be safe, to care for our Earth, to be loved for who we are. I know this is what I am teaching my 2 children, two future men. This is how we change the world.
Here is her piece that is moving me to integrate more, to heal more even though it hurts, and to challenge myself to face the things I let fear tell me is unfaceable. Not only are these afflictions faceable, we can NAME them. And in doing so, we change the trajectory of this world.

The Power and Mystery of Naming Things by Eve Ensler
I believe in the power and mystery of naming things. Language has the capacity to transform our cells, rearrange our learned patterns of behavior and redirect our thinking. I believe in naming what's right in front of us because that is often what is most invisible.Think about the word vagina. I believe that by saying it 128 times each show, night after night, naming my shame, exorcising my secrets, revealing my longing, was how I came back into my self, into my body. By saying it often enough and loud enough in places where it was not supposed to be said, the saying of it became both political and mystical and gave birth to a worldwide movement to end violence against women. The public utterance of a banished word, which represented a buried, neglected, dishonored part of the body, was a door opening, an energy exploding, a story unraveling.When I was finally able as an adult to sit with my mother and name the specific sexual and physical violence my father had perpetrated on me as a child, it was an impossible moment. It was the naming, the saying of what had actually happened in her presence that lifted my 20-year depression. By remaining silent, I had muted my experience, denied it, pushed it down. This had flattened my entire life. I believe it was this moment of naming that allowed both my mother and I to eventually face our deepest demons and deceptions and become free.I think of women naming the atrocities committed against them by the Taliban in Afghanistan, or women telling of the systematic rapes during the Bosnian war, or just recently in Sri Lanka after the tsunami, women lining up in refugee camps to name their nightmares and losses and needs. I have traveled through this world and listened as woman after woman tells of being date raped or acid burned, genitally mutilated, beaten by her boyfriend or molested by her stepfather.Of course the stories are incredibly painful. But I believe as each woman tells her story for the first time, she breaks the silence, and by doing so breaks her isolation, begins to melt her shame and guilt, making her experience real, lifting her pain.
I believe one person's declaration sparks another and then another. Helen Caldicott naming the consequences of an escalating nuclear arms race, gave rise to an anti-nuclear movement. The brave soldier who came forward and named the abuses at Abu Ghraib prison was responsible for a sweeping investigation.Naming things, breaking through taboos and denial is the most dangerous, terrifying and crucial work. This has to happen in spite of political climates or coercions, in spite of careers being won or lost, in spite of the fear of being criticized, outcast or disliked. I believe freedom begins with naming things. Humanity is preserved by it.-

Eve EnslerEve wrote this essay for NPR “All Things Considered” This I Believe series. The piece aired on “All Things Considered” on March 20, 2006. To listen to the audio or to learn more about This I Believe, visit http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5285531

feminine expressions

2006-04-08T06:24:00.000-07:00

feminine expressions
I found this blog, and it is so lovely. Poetry that touches me.

Bald Eagle Tends to Nest As Single Dad

2006-04-07T12:17:00.000-07:00

Bald Eagle Tends to Nest As Single Dad - Yahoo! News

What a great story!

insecurities and uncertainties

2006-04-07T10:30:00.000-07:00

For some time now, this community participation factor of this blog has steadily decreased. I certainly don't want to be a nay-sayer, (I picture an old goat naying when i say that word...baaah!) but perhaps it's time I faced the facts.

I am certain that there are many reasons for the decrease to a trickle in participation. Life is about change after all. Now, I must determine if EWAG's time is spent or if it is just in need of change. If it is time to let go, then I will have great comfort in knowing that this lil goddess blog has given much joy. It has served its purpose of acceptance well.

Thank you for being a part of it, from the depths my heart.

Weigh in on this...let me know how you feel about it. Now's the time to speak and be heard, dear goddesses.

2006-04-07T07:07:00.000-07:00

Hi Girlies. Sarah(BohemeMama) here. I want to say hello, and say that I really need to post more. See, I have some issues. I'm afraid no one will care what I have to say. Core self worth issues. Instead of running from this, I am offering it up as something to share with a community of Women.
My mother abandoned me at age 2, my dad molested and raped me until I was 11. This is why I have a hard time reaching out.
Yes, I am in therapy! Have been for years. But my point is, I wonder how many Women feel this isolation from others..Will anyone care? Will I be accepted? Those are the voices. But I am not listening, not today.
Thoughts?
Thanks for reading.

Arrow

2006-03-26T11:23:00.000-08:00

Inspired by the American Cancer Society Daffodil Drive last week, I have written this story.

In the purple and gray morning, I release the small leather ball from my slingshot into the brisk breeze above my head. Fine hairs waft around my eyelashes as I watch it climb to almost disappear from view, trailing its cargo of sewn-on feathers and tiny little bell.

A bullet of black and white and brown streaks from the sky above and grabs the ball, makes a wide circle and settles, fluffed and agitated, on my wrist. I stroke the feathers beneath her dark amber eye with the knuckle of my index finger, crooning words of praise and beauty. I bend my face to the crown of her head and inhale her wild, dusty smell. She is fierce, she is hungry, she is Peregrine, and she is mine.

On these exercise mornings I think about how, long ago, I came across her path and saved her life. She came into Wind Over Wings damaged and emaciated, wounded by some collision or perhaps a projectile, a carelessly thrown rock. I doubt that, she is too fast … perhaps in pursuit of a smaller bird, she did not see the approaching car? I'll never know. On those long days of healing, her wing splinted and her feathers dirty with her own filth, I would peer into her eyes and will her to speak. Tell me, tell me what it was.

As she mended and we began our rehabilitation work together, a trust grew that has us in its tethers now, bound together inextricably. She cannot be released to the wild; this would surely be a death sentence, as she is hobbled on the one side and too accustomed to people to keep herself safe from them and their ignorant impulses. Besides, I could not bear to let a day pass without the guidance of her bird wisdom. She is self-reliant, noble, wild at heart, unapologetic. She is everything that I would like to be.

I prepare the lure for another flight, reflecting upon the illness that courses through my own bloodstream, threatening to consume my body from the inside out. Two treatments left and then maybe a clean bill of health? There’s no way of knowing. I cling to the hope that these outings of fresh air and exercise will imbue my body with just enough positivity to tip the scales in my favor. Maybe if I hang my soul from the talons of this little beast, she can carry my hopes towards the heavens and release them, there to diffuse and to shower life down upon me.

I chuckle at my sad attempts to bring poetic meaning to this ritual, the morning flight runs that keep my bird strong and allow me to breathe the cold, new air. Still, perhaps there is just a little magic in this bond and in these moments. Enough to keep me happy, surely, and perhaps enough to heal me.

The target prepared and my falcon circling above my head, I pull the band of my slingshot back once more, aiming for the rising sun. I stretch the band to its limit, holding the ball in its leather cup as I glance at the bird, climbing in her anticipation. Pulling the band just a bit further I release, and watch as she pursues her quarry. Ah, beautiful, beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful bird, my mind whispers.

The light in the east fills out the horizon just as she dives, a feathered arrow of hope, into the blue and silent sunrise.

to be a knowledgeable woman

2006-03-15T08:55:00.000-08:00

For the past year, I've had reason to be, perhaps, overtly tuned in to my body's rhythm and reproductive capabilities. I'll admit, this is all due to stopping hormonal birth control, trying to conceive, conceiving, losing a pregnancy and being post-partum. It's helped me to be more in tune with my body and pushed me to learn more - only to learn there's more to learn!

Today, I found this web page ... http://www.answers.com/topic/menstrual-cycle ... which is somewhat thorough on the hormonal and cultural events surrounding a women's cycle. Rather interesting and perfectly fitting for this blog ... since we're so woman-centric. :)

Plus, as I have learned so much about my body, I believe it is beneficial for every woman to learn what she can about her body's natural processes. It is helpful, too, in cases of "abnormal" natural processes in the search of diagnosis and treatment.

If we know our bodies and trust our intuitions, we can be more involved with the medical processes and take charge of our care. I've realized doctors only know so much and have other patients & distractions, so we need to approach our care with knowledge and interest & not assume doctor always knows best.

you are beautiful

2006-03-09T07:09:00.000-08:00

you_are_beautiful
Originally uploaded by patia.

Our sister Patia posted this on International Women's Day.

you-are-beautiful.com

helena nelson-reed

2006-03-07T08:42:00.000-08:00

She has been a favourite artist of mine for some time and when she contacted me a little while back to be showcased on the Creatrix Collective I was ecstatic. I admire her approach and skill. Her painting, Chrysalis, is the Featured Beauty for Spring 2006.

Kwan Yin by Helena Nelson Reed

Helena describes her approach: Archetype and myth are the human experience and universal truth of our collective subconscious. Like ancient tales, my paintings are inspired by actual events, personal experiences, or those of individuals I've known. I consider myth a guidebook of possibilities for navigating life's maze and moving past personal paradigms. Sooner or later we all participate in someone else's myth, and they in ours. Fairies, tricksters, wise fools; in such guises we travel to strange places, encounter shape shifters and magical beings. Goddess energy manifests as a coiled spiral of power and force to be reckoned with; flexible, fluid, and resilient, and this concept appears in my art via archetype. Life has taught that reality (well, mine at least) can shift radically in the wink of an eye. A common example is when catastrophe or a series of lesser but life altering events occur, initiating the falling away of cherished identities. Ideologies and dogmas prove flawed, support systems fail, friends may desert, and belief systems no longer support actual experience. When the veil is torn and one's belief/identify is revealed as illusion, what's left? When I stay conscious (not always an easy thing to be) and in the present, observing my life spiral coil and uncoil, the heart and inner eye are cleared and opened by what I feel beneath the intellect. Like Persephone released from her subterranean nightmare, there is light at the end of the tunnel, a new reality, and thus greater capacity for growth, joy and life. The story isn't over, however. The Divine Feminine is cyclic in nature and thus nothing is permanent, eventually the cycle will begin anew and yet another veil unravels and falls away. Keep Creating and Expect the Unexpected!

Her personal sites: www.lapizmoon.com and www.fine-art-studios.com

looking back

2006-03-05T08:08:00.000-08:00

When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could have planned.~ Alcoholics Anonymous, pg 100

This Sunday morning I am so damn grateful. This week marked three years of sobriety for me. My life has changed so much, it’s not perfect. I still struggle, a lot. With emotions, feelings, trying to do the next right thing. Most of it is just dealing with life. I truly did not understand how to do this (still don’t to some extent). I always wanted to be numb, not feel, to not be responsible. I didn’t care about anyone, least of all my self. I had no self worth.

And the worst of it was I didn’t know why. Why did I have so many problems. I kept looking for that key to fixing me, that one magic idea to make it all perfect. I never found it and I all got was very very close to being locked up or death.

Still don’t have any of that perfection, but that’s ok. I do have a solution.

Over the past three years I have had people let me be screwy, confused, angry, sad, overwhelmed, happy, peaceful, and many many other feelings that I can’t even explain. No one chastised me or told me I was wrong to have those feelings. They listened, understood and often told me that had they felt the same.

They loved me when I didn’t even like myself.

Thank God.

I still screw up, get angry, feel weak, lost and have fears.

But I am no longer alone. For that I am thankful.

Feelings...good, bad, indifferent

2006-03-01T05:18:00.000-08:00

It’s hard to know what to focus on when my mind seems so scattered...

All my training, all my study of the disciplines that should help me (yoga, meditation, deep relaxation, visualization) seem to fail when I need them the most.

I can help students, most of them are perfect strangers to me, but I can’t seem to help myself and the more I try to *relax* the further out of reach the ‘peace of mind’ seems – there’s a detour on the path of my own tranquility.

My seated practice has suffered mainly because I’ve been in so much pain I can not sit – my neck, my shoulders, my knees, my hips – I feel like I’ve become an old woman before my time...I creak, I crack, I pop and at once I am frustrated as well as sympathetic to some of my students with similar physical ailments

I just feel like the days blur, I am going through the motions and I don’t even have a clue – numbness just takes over...

Last night I was at dinner with my friend, Mr. C and I got to talk to him about how I feel - like I have always had to be strong and I am tired of being expected to be that way ALL THE TIME – even most of the time...why isn’t it OK to stop, to not fight? Who is this fight for, me? Who is it ever for? Is it selfish of me to want to just stop?

Once, when one of my dearest friends was faced with a serious illness (she had colon cancer and they missed some of it when they removed it and they did no radiation so it spread to her bones – awful just awful) – she was being treated with chemo, well chemo is toxic, very toxic and most of us are affected by that but it was nearly fatal for her – she was being poisoned and she had to be hospitalized and the things she was going through at the time were just horrendous and I remember one phone call early on where she called me crying and began talking about how she wanted to die – really wanted to – she needed to talk about THAT feeling with someone because her kids just would not listen to her – she wanted to talk about her own funeral. It was (and still is) one of the hardest conversations I have ever had to have with a friend, but I listened, why? Because I OWED her that much – she was my friend – she was my sister at heart and with that conversation it dawned on me and I’ve never forgotten that we have to remember it’s OK to live with those feelings too – it’s OK to ALLOW your loved ones let go – the ONLY reason we don’t want them to ‘give up the ghost’ as it were is purely selfish on our part – we will miss them – we don’t want them to leave our universe…not realizing that they will always be with us, in our hearts, in our minds, in our intertwining of spirits that makes us all a part of something bigger...something sacred and joyful...something that can never be taken away.

state of anxiety diary.

2006-02-28T12:05:00.000-08:00

I'm really not sure how I found this web diary ... but, she mentioned pregnancy and that's my current obsession, so I had to read.

What struck me in her February entry is how her journey from being pregnant to not being pregnant finds her in an abortion clinic - and not by choice. Basically, she loses the baby but doesn't miscarry, leaving her to have, technically, an abortion. But, in the "official" hospital world, when a fetus dies, it's called D&C (dilation & curettage) or D&E (dilate & extraction).

Had her insurance not been in a grace period, she would have been in the hospital for the D&C, but instead she was sent to the clinic down the street. As she makes her appointment with the clinic, she is told there will be protesters, and that's when she realizes she will be at an abortion clinic.

It's striking to read this, knowing she is there because nature made her choice, but to those protesters, she is there killing a baby. Only goes to show, there is always more to the story.

And, crazy how one gynecological medical procedure can produce so many emotions and opinions, just depending on which term you use. Something to think about ...

goddess interviewing

2006-02-22T08:39:00.000-08:00

I would like to create a separate page, similar to an about us page, that lists us and our interviews with the option to post a pic as well. I feel that would help us establish a deeper connection with each other.

How does that sound? We can start by pairing off or if you have another suggestion, feel free to voice it.

Here are the questions:

Basics: name (how they'd like to be addressed), age, and location.

1. What feminine aspect do you like most about yourself? What feminine aspect do you admire most in your women friends?

2. If you were to adapt an archetype, would you consider yourself a maiden, mother, crone, or goddess?

3. What is the most important thing a woman can do for herself?

4. Is there an activity or process that you use during times of imbalance that provides you with some inner peace?

5. Tell us about a woman that influenced your view of the feminine.

6. What does feminism mean to you? Is there an area of feminism that interests you?

7. Interviewer's own question to go here.

Added 3/1/06: My intention was to create a more personal connection between us with the pairing off idea. We could do it via email without a deadline. Originally, these questions were intended for us to use in profiling a woman we admired.

Perhaps, my earlier sensuality quiz would be a better idea, as there has been limited response to this post? I could use the ones I already have for the about us page and ask the remaining members to fill it out.

Love, love, love this

2006-02-18T08:33:00.000-08:00

Probably the only web ad I've ever hit "replay" on ... again and again.

Dove's latest commercial: Campaign for Real Beauty

Tune in, tune up and turn on

2006-02-16T06:06:00.000-08:00

My dear friend Linda Savage (profiled here) is going to be featured on a Voice America internet radio show: Discovering the Goddess in Your Bedroom today at 10am PST.

*If the link doesn't work properly, go to Voice America (works best with IE) and select Shows from the left hand navigation menu. Then select Schedules and you will find a link to the show at 10am PST.

LOVE

2006-02-14T11:21:00.000-08:00

wishing my EWAG sisters a happy heart-filled day. love yourself real good today. :) xo

Feminine Mystique

2006-02-08T08:39:00.000-08:00

Feminine Mystique
Originally uploaded by Auntie K.

Here is an Interview with Betty Friedan author of The Feminine Mystique and founder of National Organization for Women.

Friends, Family Eulogize Feminist Friedan

2006-02-06T17:23:00.000-08:00

Friends, Family Eulogize Feminist Friedan

Betty you will be missed. Thank you.

CNN.com - Women sue Wal-Mart over contraception - Feb 1, 2006

2006-02-03T20:03:00.000-08:00

CNN.com - Women sue Wal-Mart over contraception - Feb 1, 2006

Any thoughts, comments, reactions on this one?

I am a bit livid that ANY store can have the right do such a thing....I know this can be a really controversial subject and feel free to chastise me if I've upset anyone by posting this..but I feel women have the right to make these choices...

Thanks for letting me state my humble opinion

C -

Per a friend's suggestion - I am going to post part of my response to this to give more background (illumination) to why I feel the way I do:

I am passionate because I feel women ARE being victimised by society (and even by other women) on many levels - whether it be at the hands of an abusive relationship, an uncaring non-compassionate medical system/political system, or even on a spiritual/religious level because we now have mores that seem to be being forced down everyone's throats....(again I have to wonder what happened to the separation of church and state in this country)...and because I work for a medical institution and because I myself have been in the situation where I have (had) to choose - I feel very strongly about this issue...

I want to make sure that women keep their rights to make whatever choice is good for them - when I was 18 perhaps that choice was different than now - but I still feel it's vitally important to support our right as humans to choose and not let those rights be either taken away, and/or co-opted for the sake of a political machine - the bottom line is that we remember to support each other no matter what - I don't know what your personal situation might be anymore than you would know mine - but by golly I am going to defend to my last breath your right to make any decision you want to make...

Lapis: virtual bunny/orgasm game

2006-02-01T10:05:00.000-08:00

"This is lovely: a prototyped virtual pet bunny called Lapis, designed to teach about female sexual gratification. I love the way this game gets down to basics: exploring a variety of pleasant touching."

fear and chaos, a love affair

2006-01-26T07:47:00.000-08:00

When I first started delving into my "shadow self" or the parts of me I kept hidden, I was terrified and I did not like being afraid. I was used to being in control, even if it was a type of imaginary control. I can only describe myself then as outwardly calm, while inside fear boiled and I fought to contain it.

don't go into the woods at night
the fear is strong
respect them at a distance
and you will live long

There are times that I still find myself terrified at the prospect of what lies within me. I fear that the strength of the creative power within me will overwhelm me, consume me, and I will be left an empty shell, hollow and lifeless. I fear that my source of inspiration and creativity is limited. That shakes me to the bone and I want to use it sparingly, savor it, because I may never feel it again once I have used it all up.

My myth: I worry that I will never have enough, that I will never be enough.

It all boils down to two traits that use my innards as their battleground. Independence and distrust.

I grew up very poor and a type of hoarding or survival instinct wreaked havoc on me. Cue the independence. I always managed to stretch what little money I had out, make it last for more than possible. This worked well for me when I was in university living on a student loan, but when I failed and the money ran out it was devastating to my pride. Cue the distrust.

Yet, I believe the independence, the belief in my Self, has endured much better than the distrust. I am beginning to see that underlying this distrust I also feel a strange anarchy building within. I feel my myth (for I do realize that I am enough) is being subtly picked apart and dissolving into chaos.

all in a row
ordered lies
but something stirs
anarchy, chaos
the peace will not last long

a new truth will form

Overall, I can only allow the feelings and honor the process. I believe this is what connects us and opens us to the all-encompassing beauty within each other. Thus, I honor the process within you as well.

Just what you've always wanted...

2006-01-16T14:33:00.000-08:00

a knitted womb!

Knitty.com has the most wonderful stuff.

Momentary Lapse of Reason

2006-01-14T21:35:00.000-08:00

There is a moment...
And we get caught up
Realising, we are you

We dress like you
We talk like you
We act like you
We become one and the same
We are mirror images

There is comfort in this
There is safety in our numbers
Not having to think
Only alive on the surface

Smooth as silk no jagged edges
It’s the way we want to be
There’s no fear of failure
When you don’t have much invested

There is a moment...
And we know
We will never be like you

We won’t dress like you
Or talk like you
Or act like you
We despise all you represent

There is comfort in this
Being non-comformist
There’s a thrill and no safety
Living on the edge

Hard as glass and broken
It’s the way we want to feel
Failure is the best teacher
When you live in the moment

NOTE: This is something I penned just the other day (and also posted on my blog) - I was musing about what it was like to be part of the 'in-crowd' (which I wasn't) - and then being part of the 'out-crowd' (which I most definitely was *grin*) - and I began to ponder the 'sheep-like' mentality of being like every other 'Barbie doll' and the anger and resentment that was directed towards them by any 'odd-girl-out' if you will - sort of how I imagine an artiste like Ani DiFranco or Tori Amos started - but even though I always felt like I was 'outside looking in', I knew deep down I was somehow 'OK' but it took me years to realise how much power I had within the true *ME* and much much better off I was in being so different. I know that perhaps this prose I wrote might have some negativity to it but if thoughts could just bleed onto paper then - at that moment in time - it would be so much clearer - but envy and pain and the feeling of 'not belonging' are all still very much a part of being a 'Goddess in training' and I thank the Goddess every day for giving me the strength to really embrace the 'trueness' of my real self.

A heartfelt thanks

2006-01-10T19:10:00.000-08:00

To all of you for letting me participate in this wonderful blog and for just 'being out there' to begin with.

Every woman IS a Goddess and it's a pleasure and a priviledge to be invited to write on here.

I'll write more soon.

As ever,
Colette

"The Typewriter Girl"

2006-01-08T16:19:00.000-08:00

I'm partial to old typewriters, the look of them, mind you, not actually typing on them anymore. So, I tend to run across oddities like a review of this book: "The Iron Whim:
A Fragmented History of Typewriting," by Darren Wershler-Henry.

I'm bringing it up here for the two quotes I found somewhat relevant to this group:

"Typewriting played a key (sorry) role in women's work as jobs were created for "'The Typewriter Girl'"; Wershler-Henry argues that the "'two novelties (working women and weird gadget) alleviated the suspicion that either on their own might have elicited.'"

&

"Wershler-Henry points out that our networked computer culture is moving us away from typing culture's certainty. The idea of one true point of view is being replaced by provisional truths, and consensual truths."

It is strange to think of women at work being saved by the typewriter when that Girl Friday role caused such problems. But I like the morphing of typewritten "certainty" into "consensual truths" of communications like this...

Hi from Crafty Chica!

2005-12-31T17:04:00.000-08:00

I was so excited to have been invited to post on this blog, and then I got so busy I never wrote anything!

Now on the eve of a new year, I'm doing it! I apologize for the delay. I just want to wish all of you a very happy 2006. My goal this year is just to stop and appreciate more and make the most of my time.

I'm usually juggling three-four things at a time, and because of that I eat badly. Today I announced to my family that I was going to go out for a walk. They all stopped and then laughed, like I was cracking a joke. Mommy leave the art room or computer to go walk? They know I would rather have the stomach flu, a bad haircut and a sour mocha before I'd consider any kind of exercise.

But their their disbelief only juiced up my motivation! I've lost 12 pounds so far and I know I have to move more in order to continue the shrinking process. I'm ready to do that. So within minutes of their heckles, I had my new Special K pedometer on, my sneakers, iPod and... I went for a power walk!!! I'm chubby, this was not easy for me, but I want my body to be as healthy as my mind, so I'm shaving it off a pound at a time.

I chose to walk 3/4 of a mile up the sidewalk to the Dunlap Avenue intersection. 3/4 of a mile is nothing to normal people, for me it may as well have been 3 miles. That was my mental goal. To make it to Dunlap. Every block I passed I wanted to turn around and go back, and then pat myself for going at least that far. But then another little voice (a spirit goddess perhaps?) would tell me, "Just finish!". I went through this Jan Brady-like conversation EVERY block. I noted that it was a good thing I never sent in an app to The Biggest Loser, I would have been booted the first week. The next moment, I looked up and I was a Dunlap Ave.!

There on the corner was a guy in a cell phone suit waving at drivers to stop in the cell phone store on the corner. I waved at him and then marched up to the edge of the sidewalk and stomped on it with my feet, pivoted around and walked back. It was such an empowering moment for me! The journey home was much quicker.

The best feeling was stepping through the front door and having my kids and husband cheer for me. This is such a goofy story, but with only hours away from a new year, I feel like I'm ready to make my way to many more Dunlap Avenue's to come...

Peace, love and glitter to you all!

Kathy
http://www.CraftyChica.com

2005

2005-12-31T08:58:00.000-08:00

now you see it...now you don't!

happy 2006, goddesses! wishing you all love, healing and strength in the 365 days to come.

take some time, pat yourself on the back and take a deep breath. then, raise your arms to the sky, look up and shout "I DID IT!" because it takes guts to truly live. i raise my goblet to you!

respectfully,
the eye that sees your beauty

Retouch!

2005-12-22T10:28:00.000-08:00

"Almost all photos selling something have been touched up: magazine covers, fashion articles, adverts, record covers and so on. You'll see how easy it is to alter someone's appearance."

Appreciate the invite...

2005-12-20T17:07:00.000-08:00

...to join this strong group of writers, thinkers, sharers (is that a word?).

I'm Dana, a name that's pronounced differently (Dah-nuh) than every other Dana (Day-nuh) out there. Which is not always a bad thing.

My last name, Graves, is easy, you'd think, but hard to get across sometimes, even spelling it out. That V just rhymes with too many letters. So I tend to say "Graves, like in a graveyard, ya know?" to people. The ones who laugh are good.

I have 3 degrees. I'm thinking about getting another, a master's in library science. My law degree has been very good for thinking skills -- & arguing, such fun! -- but practicing law, not so much. I liked law school way more than actual law firms.

I'm a news junkie, political activist, collector of cool stuff, & read way too many non-mind-improving novels. Oh. Well. Can't be too smart.....

The photo is me at 3 in a classic 1950's neighborhood. Think the black eye was a harbinger of things to come?

Lifted

2005-12-20T17:00:00.000-08:00

There’s a small boy in my school, a sixth grader, who rides around in a tiny little wheelchair and has a one-on-one aide to help him. Every day I see him leaving school; he wheels cheerfully outside with his aide and his mother picks him up in her van. He can walk; I’m not sure exactly why he’s in the wheelchair; it has something to do with his bones breaking easily.

Yesterday, I left right at dismissal and I passed the mother’s van just in time to see her lifting her small boy in through the side door. In a split-second interval I watched a choreography that the two of them have rehearsed every day -- how many times, how many days, of this? -- The boy, standing straight and stiff in front of his mother, so that she could wrap her arms around him and, a small person herself, gently hoist him up into the van. There was so much poetry in his simple, patient, expectant pose; in her sure and steady balance. The routine fluidity of the movement told a story; In that fraction of a moment I secretly witnessed the simple dance of love between a mother and her beautiful, bright-eyed, breakable boy.

Poster: "What a Woman May Be....

2005-12-16T16:08:00.000-08:00

Poster: "What a Woman May Be....
Originally uploaded by danagraves.

a little fun for friday! have a great weekend goddesses.

things i've learned being single

2005-12-13T01:27:00.000-08:00

one is a whole number. peace alone is better than bad couplehood. sometimes it's ok to have extra pieces left over after building furniture (sometimes it is not). i can change a lightbulb by stacking two telephone books on a bar stool. a light bulb doesn't break when it flies across a room when i fall (if it lands in a basket of fresh laundry). it's possible to spend an entire weekend from five o'clock friday night until nine o'clock monday morning not talking to another person and be perfectly happy. a fantasy can last longer than some guys. food in the freezer has an expiration date for a reason. the sun comes up after a sleepless night. a car's tires need to have the air checked once in a while. the toilet seat and its lid can be down all the time. sometimes fastening a necklace is impossible. there are men who want you to be weak with them but strong for them. sometimes i love eating a bowl of cereal for dinner instead of cooking. sometimes i fix food for my neighbors just for the opportunity to cook. dating can really suck. i can open a bottle of champagne by myself but a vase on a shelf across the room is in danger. a mechanic can be really expensive. women are powerful. soy milk is sexy in a wine glass. a mouse stays alive when caught in a glue stick and killing then becomes humane (and i don't have the courage to be humane). a mouse doesn't understand apologies. some men will hit on you even though they have no interest in seeing you again. my life is busier and more full than i would have imagined a single person could be. some rental cars lock automatically if you step out of them even if the engine is running. young guys like older women. only when you are all you have do you truly learn you are all you need. i really do want someone to tell me if i look fat in this dress. a bed is more fun with two. soaking in a hot bath with salts and suds, with candles and music, is a great way to spend an evening. i wouldn't want to be with a man who doesn't have as much fun with the grandkids as i do. it's ok to ask for help. friends are priceless.

photo posted with the permission of the artist graham jeffrey

saddest news

2005-12-06T07:53:00.000-08:00

One of our goddesses has recently experienced a loss, please visit her blog and send some love her way.

FunkyJunkie this is for you:

i saw her there
a mother
the glow of creation
bright within her

i saw her embrace her child
a tiny being
more luminescent ether than form
with a tenderness and acceptance
that filled me with love

then, i saw her say goodbye
to a miracle
and my heart bled
but i knew somehow
she would always be

a mother
the glow of creation
bright within her

My deepest condolences, dear one.

Two Quick and Smart Jokes

2005-11-27T11:16:00.000-08:00

What did the penis say to the condom?
Cover me. I'm going in.

What is "6.9"?
A "69" interrupted by a "PERIOD".

cover up

2005-11-26T08:35:00.000-08:00

I received some foundation samples in the mail from Afterglow Cosmetics a couple of days ago. I was excited because I have not worn much makeup in years as my skin is super sensitive and my struggle with hormone imbalance has made it worse. It was play time!! Then, the oddest thing happened. I looked in the mirror after I was done and freaked out. I felt like I was looking at someone else (maybe a good looking drag queen), but I decided I would leave the makeup on for awhile to see how my skin would react. My skin seems not to mind it at all, yay, and it offers incredible coverage with the use of a very small amount.

That's exactly what scared me. It covered all my flaws. Made me think...am I basing my identity now on my flaws solely? Ah! It's all a stage for the drama I call me. he he

Stage left. Creatrix enters and bows: I am grateful to all who came here and joined me in a sisterhood of acceptance. I see you and honor you! xo

Daring Young Mom

2005-11-16T04:34:00.000-08:00

What a cool mama! Loved this~XO, Sarah

how to see in the dark

2005-11-11T07:59:00.000-08:00

For most women, the shadow self or the "not-so-shiny parts" is something untapped. It is a source of power often unclaimed. Many even expend great time and effort to keep this dark gem well hidden.

I know because I used to do it. I was always trying to live up to expectations I readily accepted blindly. It was a constant struggle and I found over time that I had buried much of myself, just to survive.

Luckily, I learned to challenge the ideals and embrace the dark. That is where I started to see a glimmer of self-acceptance. For fun, I figured I'd offer some suggestions, based on what I've learned. Of course, my wisdom is meant only as a sharing, not a replacement for your own unique and important voice. Take it, leave it, or change it and feel free to add to the list.

1. shapeshift -- that's right, shapeshift. shake off the mask you wear at your job or around others. dissassemble your form. let go of your image and feel what it's like to be without it. know that you are important regardless.
2. challenge your ideals -- everyone has rules or standards. figure out where they come from and if they are even your own. do you need them all? maybe you could toss one to the side or bend a few just to start off with.
3. agree to disagree -- conviction is great, but rigidity will only make the process hard. know that your truth will change and it is okay.
4. have a self-ish dream -- envision something that you want to do for yourself, that has no other purpose than to make you happy. do you know what you want in your life, beyond what others want for you? this is where it might be helpful to put aside the martyr for a bit. being helpful is wonderful, but it becomes self-depleting if you're only helpful to others and not yourself.
5. mourn the struggle -- give yourself time to grieve and curse. honor yourself. give yourself credit for even trying.
6. revel in unbeauty -- the things you think ugly and hide away just might be something wonderful and worth accepting. perhaps you find new wisdom, talent or joy. it's all a matter of perspective and guess who is in charge of that perspective? YOU.

With love and respect!

the art of breast

2005-11-11T06:41:00.000-08:00

The Cast Gallery at Keep a Breast is amazing.

Combining sculpture, philanthropy, and symbolic artistry, The Keep A Breast Foundation is a nonprofit breast cancer awareness organization unlike any other. Keep A Breast creates one-of-a-kind plaster forms of the female torso that are customized by fine artists and auctioned to raise consciousness and funding for breast cancer research and treatment. The casts are physical representations of a simple truth— while breast cancer attacks all women without prejudice, it is the powerful individual present in all women that will conquer it. Keep A Breast’s goal is to bring a fresh perspective to this important cause in a way that is relevant and inspiring to today’s youth. (About KAB)

*Thanks to Chris for passing this gem my way!

goddess interview revisited

2005-10-28T07:50:00.000-07:00

Based on my previous post on goddess interview questions and the comments I received, I've added two more questions. That makes seven in total, the last being made up by the interviewer herself.

Basics: name (how they'd like to be addressed), age, and location.

1. What feminine aspect do you like most about yourself? What feminine aspect do you admire most in your women friends?

2. If you were to adapt an archetype, would you consider yourself a maiden, mother, crone, or goddess?

3. What is the most important thing a woman can do for herself?

4. Is there an activity or process that you use during times of imbalance that provides you with some inner peace?

5. Tell us about a woman that influenced your view of the feminine.

6. What does feminism mean to you? Is there an area of feminism that interests you?

7. Interviewer's own question to go here.

What do you all think?

Edit (11/2/05) Here is the original post that sparked these questions to recap:
What would you goddesses think about interviewing another goddess? Perhaps someone you admire that lives her life as a strong spirit of femininity, as you see it of course? I would like to create a regular feature that honors a goddess one of us knows and celebrates her life. What do you all think? and would you be willing to contribute?

Courage in Journalism Awards and Lifetime Achievement Award

2005-10-27T08:43:00.000-07:00

"The only awards program exclusively for international women journalists, the IWMF's Courage in Journalism Awards honor women journalists who have shown extraordinary strength of character and integrity while reporting the news under dangerous or difficult circumstances. The Lifetime Achievement Award recognizes a woman journalist who has a pioneering spirit and whose determination has paved the way for future generations of women in the media."

Winners of the 2005 awards

Womenomics

2005-10-24T08:43:00.000-07:00

'Womenomics' good for the Japanese
2005-10-23 / Bloomberg / By William Pesek Jr.

'In August 1999, Kathy Matsui raised many a male eyebrow in Japan with a report on how the future of the No.2 economy was in women's hands. Goldman Sachs (Japan) Ltd.'s chief strategist called the phenomenon "womenomics."

Women have been a powerful economic force for some time. Since many single females live with their parents, they pay little rent and have a disproportionate amount of disposable income. Take away their spending at department stores, travel agencies and fancy eateries and some of the men standing in the way of gender equality probably wouldn't have jobs.

That dynamic will only grow as companies warm to entrusting key jobs to women, especially now that Japan's recovery is encouraging employers to hire again. That's an important development in a nation that's reluctant to ease immigration laws to import labor.

Were Japanese female labor participation rates to hit U.S. levels, per capita income would be 5.8 percent higher, Matsui says. Such girl power would provide a nice boost to Asia's biggest economy.'

..........................
That's what's happening in Japan.
How's 'womenomics' in the U.S.? ~ lyh ~

What is it with women and pillows?

2005-10-23T16:51:00.000-07:00

I have six pillows on my bed in various shapes and sizes. That's not including the pillowtop mattress or the down comforter. (Or the two cats.)

I realize this is excessive, but I can't seem to help myself. I know many other women are the same way. Are pillows some kind of survival strategy hardwired into the female brain? Is it a DNA-level trait -- or some kind of psychological weakness? Am I a compulsive comfort-seeker?

Love Your Body

2005-10-19T22:48:00.000-07:00

October 19th has been declared Love Your Body Day by the National Organization for Women Foundation.

Here are a few ways I like to appreciate my body as it is, not as some advertising executive thinks it should be:

- paint or photograph a self-portrait
- wear clothes that are comfortable and expressive of my personality, not some fashion fad
- eat and drink healthfully but not because I need to lose weight

Shouldn't every day be Love Your Body Day? How do you celebrate your body exactly as it is?

goddess with a bump.

2005-10-19T10:38:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a long while ... even my own blog is feeling neglected these days. I can easily blame it on "my condition." They say that with pregnancy a woman is very likely to feel very, um, spacey, as if simply being pregnant is enough of a distraction.

So, here I am, a goddess with a bump ... a nearly 16 weeks bump which will be a baby in early April. And, here I am, desperately avoiding my worst fear - the mommy haircut (ala Joan Cusack in Raising Helen).

Tonight, I was searching through information on vegetarian pregnancy and was led to a chunk of non-mainstream pregnancy and parenting resources. Thank goodness. While many consider "What to Expect when you're Expecting" the bible of pregnancy books, I find it somewhat rigid at times and am very glad to find resources that are more real and hearty and womanly to guide me along.

Once such resource is HipMama. The site is a collection of articles written by moms who don't necessarily chaffeur a minivan full of children to school, practices, activities, events, etc. etc. And, it's not just about being a mom or being pregnant ... it's also about being a woman and participating in life as a woman.

Maybe you'll enjoy an introduction to the site by reading the interview with Lorig Charkoudian about her heading up a Starbucks nurse-in to advocate breastfeeding in public. It's a good reminder that becoming a mother won't suddenly render me inactive with my opinions. :)

Moons

2005-10-18T14:51:00.000-07:00

What do all you ladies think about your Moon cycles? I find it to be a very introspective time. Were you raised to see the sacredness of it, or to abhor "aunt flo"? Just curious, as I just had to get off the pill, because it makes me feel crazy and unbalanced..so that's my question...:)

Oriental & Universal

2005-10-18T03:41:00.000-07:00

Hi, all the gorgeous ladies! I’m a newbie on “Every Woman Is a Goddess”. I was skimming blogs on blogspot.com by clicking on “NEXT BLOG”. I was like, next, next, next and next. Finally, something stopped me. It’s “Every Woman Is a Goddess”. Thanks to creatrix for accepting my joining here.

My name is Yu (with the 4th tone)-Hua (with the 2nd tone). We have 5 tones for each sound/pronunciation. With different characters, there’re hundreds of words with “the same sound and the same tone” which can stand for different characters. Different characters in different terms or phrases could generate different meanings. Are you feeling dizzy right now? I’ll let you know how to pronounce my name correctly when we have a chance to meet up face to face someday. :)

I’ve a blog, too: lyh0626. The content is all-inclusive and wordy. If you don’t mind feeling sleepy reading it, come check it out sometime (and sometimes).

Glad to join this community. I’ll come back later and post more.

Have a good one!

Sincerely,
Yu-Hua / lyh/ Monica / Lin[surname] (4 names, pick one you like)

Goddess Greetings~

2005-10-13T15:16:00.000-07:00

Hey ladies! Sarah here, saying hi. First, I adore this blog! Second, I have to say, Fiona Apple's new cd is amazing...she is such a Goddess.
My Memaw(Grandma) says all the time, "Thank Goddess for.." this, and "I swear to Goddess" to that..isn't that great???
My children are in need of taming, but I am so happy to be amongst you girlies. Peace, Sarah

"Sorry"

2005-10-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

It really bothers me when people, especially women, apologize for no reason. For example, yesterday I was at the gym and I sat down on a bench to take off my sneakers, and the woman next to me said. “oh, I’m sorry.” I looked at her and said, “for what?” and she said, “for taking up so much room.” She wasn’t; only the amount of room that her rearend covered, which was average-sized.

I started noticing a few years ago how often women do this, and it pisses me off.

My standard answer has become, “for what? Don’t apologize!” Maybe I can change the world, one woman at a time. But I doubt it.

Women apologize for taking up space. Even the way they – we – sit is apologetic, arms & legs folded to as small a shape as possible. I notice that men, when they sit, sit with their legs apart & take up as much space as possible. Without apology.

When women are in front of you in the grocery store line and need to put all their groceries on the belt to get rung up: “I’m sorry—I have so many things.” It’s a grocery store! I expect you to be buying food! And lots of it, because grocery shopping stinks, and you should get it over with!

If you step on my foot, run into my Achilles tendon with your cart, ding my car with your SUV, then you should apologize. Don’t apologize for being in line in front of me, getting to the door just before me, or breathing the nearby air. Really, it’s OK; you have a right to be there.

It bothers me when women act weak. Although ... some women over-compensate for the implied vulnerability of our gender by being overly abrasive or tough. But that’s a topic for a different day.

For today, let’s focus on feeling OK about the fact that we live on this planet and to do so, we sometimes need a little bit of room.

(This piece was originally posted at 11.5)

a reminder

2005-10-11T07:55:00.000-07:00

Secrets Can Be Told by Sarah Elise Stauffer

One of the best thing about putting myself out there and sharing my approach to honesty is that I cross paths with amazing beings (like you all here) who are working towards the same goal. Sarah's art reminds me that it is never a mistake to trust your intuition and forge ahead when you're ready.

image

2005-10-05T11:07:00.000-07:00

image
Originally uploaded by jecate.

I am not exempt from the battle of within vs. without. Sometimes I wish I could be "bright and shiny," but that sacred and feminine darkness has become more valuable to me. It is a great source of creative power.

I hope that here can be a continued sharing of such power.

New Moon

2005-10-02T16:45:00.000-07:00

In honor of my induction into Goddesshood, and in celebration of the feminine cycles of the moon, which wanes to darkness tonight, I present to you this poem:

Postcard: Fishing Is Enjoyed by Both Sexes!

2005-09-29T08:17:00.000-07:00

Postcard: Fishing Is Enjoyed by Both Sexes!
Originally uploaded by danagraves.

I couldn't help myself.

just two boxes

2005-09-26T08:13:00.000-07:00

remnants of my past
misused, stored carelessly
in two boxes

a brilliant spirited artist
abused, broken
into two boxes

it's time to open
reclaim, cherish
those two boxes

I recently visited my sister and brought home two boxes of childhood keepsakes. She had rescued them from my father's careless need to erase his past when he remarried two years ago. Now those two boxes sit like monoliths, awaiting me to unlock their mysteries.

I find it a bit silly. I am a strong and capable woman, but when I see those two boxes I quiver and become the girl with the pasted on smile wishing to be invisible. Those two boxes contain much power and hence much pain. They hold the incredible being that was caged and driven deep underground. I know it's time to reclaim that power and remember the truth of my past, but I don't have to like it. Those two boxes frighten me deeply enough to still my bones and it's not easy to quell their song.

Thus, I keep taking small steps. I will not rush towards those two boxes, but I will not turn away. I'm going as gently as I can. I'm still learning that allowing my story to be heard is a good thing.

goddessex

2005-09-09T10:09:00.000-07:00

Now if that didn't get your attention...

An online tour through the personal, erotic and artistic self-actualization of one woman.

Check out the works of Sabrina Lingus on her site: goddessex.com and her blog: goddessex.com/biolog.

Have a sensual, joyful weekend! xo

Update: The owner of this incredible site has told me that she is currently in transition and moving her site to a new server. She hopes it to be up again soon. I will keep you posted.

2005-09-08T11:35:00.000-07:00

Crafters United has partnered with Etsy.com to offer donated indie items for sale on the Etsy website. You can find the store here and all proceeds will be donated to the Red Cross Hurricane Relief Fund, which is providing hot meals to victims and rescue workers, as well as providing other much needed assistance such as shelter, medical needs and even therapy for victims.

So far there are over 700 items listed and over 14,000.00 dollars have been raised!

I know that fellow Goddess Jess over at Funky Junkie has donated three pieces of jewelry and I donated two bracelets (still waiting to get confirmation as of yet). So if you have a chance and would like to help, stop by you’re sure to fall in love with one of the unique handcrafted items!

Happy Birthday to one of us....

2005-09-06T10:05:00.000-07:00

Wishing Jecate

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Stop by to wish her well... see here

hunting

2005-09-06T08:18:00.000-07:00

hunting
Originally uploaded by jecate.

Here's me hunting for my youth and wishing you all a crazy, wild week. FYI: I got some facepaint over the weekend which gave me a whole new perspective! he he

Masks

2005-08-24T10:23:00.000-07:00

Please Hear What I'm Not Saying*

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear for I wear a mask, a thousand masks, masks that I am afraid to take off, and none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me, but don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I am secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without, that confidence is my name and coolness is my game, that the waters calm and I'm in command, and that I need no one.
But don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness.
But I hide this.
I don't want anyone to know it.

I panic at the thought of my weakness and fearbeing exposed.
That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation.
My only hope and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,if it's followed by love.
If it's the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self-built prison walls, from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can'tassure myself, that I'm really worth something.

But I don't tell you this.
I don't dare.
I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance, will not be followed by love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.I
'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing, that I'm just no good, and that you'll see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game, with a facade of assurance withoutand a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks, and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's really nothing, and nothing of what’s everything, of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine, do not be fooled by what I'm not saying, what I'd like to be able to say, what for survival I need to say, but what I can't say.

I don't like to hide.
I don't like to play superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me, but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand even when that's the last thing I seem to want,
Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you are kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings.
With your power to touch me into feeling you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.

I want you to know how important you are to me how you can be a creator - an honest to God creator- of the person that is me if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble, you alone can remove my mask, you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic and uncertainty, from my lonely prison, if you choose to.
Please choose to.
Don't pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.

A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man, often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls, and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands but with gentle hands for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet.

~ Unknown

*gotten from my friend doughgirl’s blog

I did not write this, if you know who did please let me know. I would be happy to credit them.

reflection

2005-08-22T07:55:00.000-07:00

reflection
Originally uploaded by sigh clone.

We can all relate to this. The hated reflection. I propose that whenever any of you can't stand to look in the mirror, look instead to the beauty you see in other women. That beauty is you.

blessings

2005-08-18T17:52:00.000-07:00

:: waves and sits down ::

Hello ladies,

I happened upon your little community when looking for people to touch base with and meet while on the long and every going journey of learning.

I hope to post something soon on my new site/blog and share with you my thoughts and findings.

Thank you Creatrix for in welcoming. I do appreciate it.

B

wanting to share

2005-08-10T12:16:00.000-07:00

...a little bit about my journey.

Slavic Gypsy

women's work

2005-08-08T11:33:00.000-07:00

Calendar for Women's Vote
Originally uploaded by danagraves.

Dana from Oklahoma has started a blog called womensworkart.

Here's how she describes it: "I hope this blog will be a successful exploration of what is described as "women's work" in the world today. News using this phrase & photographs expressing what it means -- historically & now -- will be displayed."

To My Sister Goddesses

2005-08-05T18:57:00.000-07:00

A fun card from a woman in my circle. Enjoy your weekend!

announcement

2005-08-02T08:51:00.000-07:00

congratulations to our goddess sister blue!

interview questions

2005-07-29T07:32:00.000-07:00

I've been mulling this over for awhile and here are the questions I've come up with in regards to my goddess interview idea.

Basics: name (how they'd like to be addressed), age, and location.

1. What feminine aspect do you like most about yourself? What feminine aspect do you admire most in your women friends?

2. If you were to adapt an archetype, would you consider yourself a maiden, mother, crone, or goddess?

3. What is the most important thing a woman can do for herself?

4. Tell us about a woman that influenced your view of the feminine.

I'm having a bit of difficulty with this. I think we should have 5 questions that are fixed for everyone, with the option for the interviewer to ask more of her own choosing. Comments? Can you help me come up with another question as well?

Self-Portraits A Galore!

2005-07-28T10:29:00.000-07:00

You know it is a slow day at work when I can post two days in row *grin*

I came across this site

Every Tuesday they feature new self-portraits along with a little blurb on the person and their site. Since I KNOW a certain Goddess is VERY GOOD at taking portraits of herself *cough*Creatrix*cough*

That’s all…

work = stress

2005-07-27T12:40:00.000-07:00

I have been extremely stressed out over my job as of late.

So while I was catching up on my favorite blogs I found this link: Why Work? from Blue Alvarez’s blog. I found it interesting and a little hopeful. So check it out if you like you might be surprised, I was :)

(Sorry to cover up, Creatrix’s free sex post!)

free sex

2005-07-26T11:03:00.000-07:00

free sex
Originally uploaded by irregulargirl.

I've been asked to lead a weekly photo discussion in the Sex and Psychology group on Flickr. I picked this photo from the group's pool because it brings up so many questions for me and I am curious as to what others think.

What does free sex mean? Is sex really ever free? Does gender matter?

I know sex for me can be freeing, but it isn't free. I have to invest myself in it.

So what is free sex? and is this image a solid representation of it?

If you like to follow the discussion as it develops, go here.

More Goddess Art

2005-07-25T15:45:00.000-07:00

Melissa Harris

Go explore!

Fine art site, with gorgeous fantasy portraits and more...and the

Creatrix site, beautiful goddess art "celebrating women's love of life, beauty, nature, and magic."

I've been thinking about a theme for my own fantasy portrait. What a wonderful idea. Today, mine would have earthtones and perhaps a maiden/mother/crone feel to it.

What would yours include?

Showcasing WildGoddess

2005-07-25T07:07:00.000-07:00

We always have an opportunity to make this choice in every moment. We can choose to exist in a vaccum with those blinders on, believing and trusting in the "world of effects" - the world we can see. Or we can choose to open our hearts into a new way of being, to accepting a higher vision of who we are, moving beyond what we think and see. We can choose to listen.

This multi-faceted goddess has three wonderful sites to showcase her art, photography, music and writings:
Tribe of Mari
The Secret WildGoddess
WildGoddess.com